If you catch yourself saying, “You know what, my life really sucks right now,” odds are you’re delusional. Life is the greatest gift you’ll ever be given—even with its downsides.
Though I’ll admit there have been times in my life where I could relate to that negative attitude because, as much as I wish I was, I’m not always grateful.
For example, I specifically remember being suspended for a week during my senior year of high school basketball.
It was a little embarrassing. I didn’t get to see my friends on the team at practice or go to any team activities. I wasn’t able to play in games on a team I worked so hard to make. And the suspension relegated me from the starting lineup to the bottom of the roster when I came back—I had to earned the coach’s trust again, so he said.
That felt like the end of the world to an 18-year-old kid. I definitely said, “My life sucks,” a few times during that leave from the team.
When in reality, my actions didn’t make me an angel on that team. My reckless behavior got the best of me with the coaches and contributed to my sucky situation.
Plus, I had no clue how good I had it if getting suspended from a basketball team was the worst thing that happened. Other people my age were struggling with homelessness, hunger, and abuse. Apparently I thought the sun revolved around me.
The takeaway here is life didn’t suck during my basketball crisis, my actions leading up to that suspension and my mindset during the experience were the problems.
If I fixed either of those, I wouldn’t have gotten suspended for one, and I would have saved a ton of wasted energy and stress.
Whatever Sucks, You Can Change It
If you were hoping to get some sympathy here—I’m sorry but this is not the blog for you.
Because even if life is supposed to be fair—it’s not—how does complaining about something make it any better? How does that help you recover and move forward?
Exactly, it doesn’t.
Whatever is currently the part of your life that sucks, you can do two things: change your actions and/or have a better attitude.
If your job sucks
Dislike your job? Put in the work to go on a job search to land a better position that’s more aligned with your passion, pays more, or is closer to home. If you’re not qualified or don’t have the experience, bust your butt to improve. For those who stay at a job they hate for an extended amount of time, you have no one to blame but yourself.
An attitude switch would look like self-talk saying, “I know this job isn’t my favorite, but think about the experience and connections I’m getting. Or at least I can pay my bills because of it—some people would gladly switch places with me.” Finding a little good, even if it’s not a dream job, is the goal.
If your social life sucks
Anyone who doesn’t have as many friends and weekend invites as they want is simply not making enough effort. You need to introduce yourself to more strangers and reconnect with old friends. When you increase those introductions, you’ll find things in common and boom—friendship. Or just get a dog and you’ll have a new best friend right then and there. The only one impeding your social life is you.
You can also flip your mindset. I, for one, value quality of friends over quantity of friends. That’s one way to look at it. And the less friends you have can is sometimes good since you won’t be dragged to as many events you’re not interested in. Always consider the positives of a situation.
If your money situation sucks
Getting your money right comes down to thousands of small decisions that add up. If you’re in a bad place financially, I’m willing to bet you’re not saving enough, paying down debt, and investing extra money left over. It all comes down to your daily money decisions. Besides saving more, you need to seriously start reading about personal finance. Knowledge is not only power, it’s wealth.
If you have a bed to sleep on, food to eat, and clothes to warm yourself every single day, just remember that millions of people across the world are worse off than you. Consider people in rural Africa, Asia, and India, or the homeless in your city, to stop feeling sorry for yourself. And watch this video to feel rich when you’re broke.
If your romantic life sucks
Look at your actions first. Try meeting guys/girls at different locations than you usually do if you’re striking out. Ask one of the friends you trust to set you up. Experiment dating a guy/girl who isn’t normally your type. The key is different activity to get a different and better result: a parter you trust and love.
As for mindset, it’s key to understand the goal shouldn’t be to date for the heck of it, but to understand yourself and date the right person who makes you happy. Realize also that there isn’t just one guy or girl out there for you—but thousands of people find you interesting. Be confident in who you are and have faith you’ll meet the right person.
If your living location sucks
Like I’ve heard the saying before, “You’re not a tree, you can move anytime.” There are plenty of ways to improve your location. Go on a job search for a position in your favorite city. Save up money to make the big move if that’s the problem. Or stay put and travel more often to limit the amount of weekends you spend at home.
Maybe it’s best to stay put and change your attitude. Consider the idea that living at home, or in some particular city, is the best financial move in this season of your life. Think about how this process of building up your financial resources, before you can move to your favorite city, is teaching you patience.
If your family sucks
Finding it tough to build a closer relationship with your parents or siblings? Maybe it’s you. Try giving them the most kindness and patience you can muster. At least you’ll feel good knowing you made a serious effort to love on them better. And when you have your own family you can fill it with so much love that your kid always feels known and cared for.
As for attitude, you need to realize that you don’t get to pick your family. But be thankful your dad and mom conceived you, at the very least, you know? Without them, there’s no you. So they must have done something right.
If your physical body sucks
These actions are obvious. Start eating for energy and hit the gym if you’re tired of looking like a noodle or a slob. No one can improve your body fat except you. Plus, start getting enough sleep and living a healthy life in all aspects to train your mind and body to be discipline around temptation. That’s how you improve your physical appearance.
Mentally, whose body are you comparing yours to? Does your body actually suck? Or is it not perfect according to the media’s impossible standards? Maybe your body is good you just think it’s bad for the wrong reasons.
I hope in each case you saw how life doesn’t suck. You can change it through actions and attitude.
Make The Most Of The Present, You Only Got One Life
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” – Henry David Thoreau
It’s insanity to worry about the past and unhelpful to get carried away by future anxiety that may never happen.
You’ll be healthier and happier when you focus on doing your best this very moment.
What’s crazy about this world is that the treasure—each moment—is hidden in plain sight. It’s right in front of us every day, just few of us notice.
It’s the air we breathe through our lungs, the ability to open our eyes and see, and the touch when hugging a loved one. Over time we take them for granted when we’d be best off cherishing the special moments of each day.
I’m making a more conscious effort to make the most of my one life, are you going to join me?
And before you click away, skim these two blog posts for a few tips on how to do that:
If you take those two challenges seriously and actually do them, they can change your entire perspective on life.